i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize