okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
