you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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