And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize