I'm really into asian looking animals
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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