Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
