youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
