apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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