dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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