shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
