Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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