it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
