his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
