i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He has the fingertips of a God
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