I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
