youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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