fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
