I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
