glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
