he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
