its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
