I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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