There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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