so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize