you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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