Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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