wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
