Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
