the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize