the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
