There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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