If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
