is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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