her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
