You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
