Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
