Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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