I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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