I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
