Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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