Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
