So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just tell him i said nine months
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have post one night stand depression
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