You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I am mentally ready for anal.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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