Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
