You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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