worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
