somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I cut my penus on the lid.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
