She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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