Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My vagina just clenched in fear
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
