brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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