yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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