By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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