Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
