he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So here I am, sexting at work.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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