I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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