we have officially lost it.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
